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THE pain of failing to enjaculate during sex has led to the death of a man in the rural district of Kabompo in Northwestern Province.
Sources close to the matter told #Kalemba that one Shadreck Mumema, aged 36 could not bare the shame of facing the world with a full tank in his trousers.
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In a bid to empty his tanks, Mumema managed to negotiate his way inside the chitenge and petticoat of one village woman identified as Ruth Chinoya just behind his house around 10:00 hours yesterday.
But as Mumema was busy trying to pound his way to glory land, his wife appeared behind their house and caught him red-handed sweating naked behind the bent over Ruth.
By all accounts, the sudden uninvited appearance of his wife at his scene of pleasure interrupted his ultimate goal to empty his tanks leaving him frustrated and his pipe of pleasure shrunk like a little carrot.
In frustration, Mumema attempted to kill himself with pesticide and some rope in the house, but this failed to kill him.
Determined to be an ancestor, Mumema ran into the bush where he managed to get some tree fibre which he weaved into a rope and hang himself.
And even in death, he achieved his goal as he was found tongue out and sermen shooting from his private members as confirmed by Northwestern Province Police Commanding Officer Dennis Moola.
The Northwestern police boss told #Kalemba that Mumema’s suicide was reported to Kabompo Central Police by his brother-in-law, Zebron Kambembe.
Moola explained that when his officers visited the suicide scene,they found Mumema’s body hanging by the neck to a branch of a tree tied with tree fibre and his feet touching the ground.
“Upon physical inspection, he was found with semen on his genitals and the tongue was protruding from his mouth. No physical injuries were observed and no foul play suggested,” Moola stated.
Moola said Mumema’s body body had since been deposited at Kabompo in District Hospital Mortuary awaiting.
By Buumba Mwitumwa
Kalemba October 5, 2023
