Death refuses Judge Muma after word went round that he committed suicide

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CORRUPTION-accused Mongu High Court judge Wilfred Muma has been refused entry into the land of the dead, in very dramatic fashion.

Well-placed sources whispered to #Kalemba that last evening around 22:00 hours, like the Biblical Jonah, judge Muma appeared to have tossed himself into the crocodile-infested Zambezi River at Lubosi Imwiko Bridge, on the magnificent Mongu-Kalabo road, in an attempt to exit the land of the living.
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After taking the plunge, the judge made a mother of all splashes immediately he hit the water, as he sent gallons of water up into the air, amidst a loud bang, owing to his well nourished body.

This catastrophic fall, which instantly turned poor crocodiles and hippos into speed boats, alarmed nearby fishermen, who rushed to the scene to investigate whether it was a witch who had crash landed in their waters or not.

Lo and behold, the fishermen found that it was no witch that had fallen but a fully-clothed semi-conscious adult male who had merely done a bungee jump from the bridge, without a safety rope, in what appeared to be an attempt at his own life.

As the local fishermen stood at a safe distance, wondering who could be doing Kuomboka alone, in March, instead of the usual April, judge Muma let out a loud scream for help, pleading that they save his life, for him to continue responding to calls of “my Lord” on the legal bench.

If the water was not going to kill him, crocodiles would have made a snack of the honourable man of law, as they encircled the point of his drop to compete for his sumptuous body.

However, the local fishermen would not let them deprive the judiciary and Kanchibiya district in Muchinga Province of a learned counsel, as they managed to whip the crocodiles away with their canoe paddling sticks.

According to sources, the judge was then taken to a yet-to-identified health centre to recover.
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Meanwhile, his vehicle, registration number GRZ 437 CX, was recovered at the bridge, with all his personal effects including phones spectacles, wallets and others along with a suicide note reading; “I have gone to be with the Lord”.

The Zambia Police Service is investigating whether judge Muma’s plunging into the mighty Zambezi was voluntary or maybe some kidnappers, ‘who want him down, who want him suffer’, tossed him into the waters.

Judge Muma is facing the heat of the fierce corruption fight by the new dawn government, for allegedly helping the former PF government, when he served as lands commissioner, to illegally grab land from the Zambia Army.

With death having refused him, the Anti-Corruption Commission (ACC) will surely be ready to accept him for interrogations.

Zambia Police Service are yet issue an official statement on the matter.

Kalemba March 2, 2023